Poria

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing at 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.” She sleepily replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap ?..”

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.” “You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “It’s a bet! Let’s see what you got.” John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right. Get in.”

There were three restaurants on the same block.  One day, one of them put up a sign which said “The Best Restaurant in the City” The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said “The Best Restaurant in the World” On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said “The Best Restaurant on this Block.”

A man was out for a drink with his wife one night and he said, “I love you”. The wife asked, “Is that you or the beer talking?” He said, “It’s me…….. I’m talking to the beer”!

A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s office. “Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks. She replies,“I´m having a baby.” “Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes. “Yes, it is.” – she says. “Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look. “Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies. Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”

A French boy said to his friend: – My younger sister is ten years old but she can speak English rather well. His friend smiled and replied: – It isn’t a strange thing. When my family travelled to London, I met a little girl who was about five years old and she spoke English like the wind.

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